That's how long it took for it to finally be over.
Going back a bit, the story of my childhood is a long and complex one. Some of you know the story, and for those who don't I will try to summarize it, although it is easier to tell in person. Basically my mother is a very screwed up person. She was abusive both physically as well as emotionally. She did things that were both outright abusive and covertly demeaning. Fast-forward to August 18, 2000... my birthday. This is the day that she hands my father the divorce papers. During this time, many things happen. We sit down in the front room, parents on the couch, me on the rocker across from them and they break the news... she is moving to California one way or another, whether we come or not. (Keep in mind that my subconscious has blocked out most of my childhood which means that I cannot remember the order in which things happened or all the details about them). A decision is made to make a last ditch effort. We fly out to California and stay at my grandmothers while looking at the schools around the area. None compare to the High School I was currently attending. We decide that my father and I cannot leave everything behind and move out there. I sit at a table, me on the long end, father on one side and mother on the other. You can guess what happens next... They ask me who I want to live with. The decision was already made, I wasn't going to leave one of the best schools in the country. Mother goes and crys on the couch. Grandmother kicks father and I out, so we fly back to Chicago that night.
Fast Forward a bit... She packs up the house and moves it all with her to California. The house that I grew up in. She takes Everything, toilet paper and kleenex included. She leaves behind a sole pot that can barely boil two cups of water and says that my father and I should be able to live with that. We look at the finances and find that she has stolen $40,000.00 from my father. he put her through school and when she started work around 1998 and secretly opened a bank account in her name only and told no one. She put all of her earnings into that, using my fathers income to pay the bills and feed her account. Of course my father trusted her and let her handle the bills for the bulk of the marriage. In addition to the $40K she stole, she stole all of my college funds, and tried stealing all of my family's bonds. I found them in her boxes and stole them back before she had a chance to run away with them.
FF... She freezes all of our money and we almost lose the house, along with all of the red letters we got from the Utility companies. Finally she forces us to sell the house. I lose my place to live and have to find a friend at school who is willing to take me in. Between then and now I have had around 10 addresses.
It takes 4 years before the Divorce is finally finalized because both parties refuse to come to an agreement on the terms of the divorce. She is supposed to pay 1/2 of all my schooling expenses, tuition, books, room and board, and medical bills. The next year or 2 are spent fighting with her to fulfill her half of the agreement. It is bullshit excuse after bullshit excuse as to why she won't pay. Check out this sample:
http://pics.livejournal.com/nickalusz/gallery/0000gyw5FF... I get fed up with the Bullshit, which my father had started to accept, and take her to court One... Last... Time. This time it is the most difficult one yet. I hit rock bottom, afraid of not being able to afford to eat, let alone go to college. This is where I have been for the past few months. She is not paying her part of the bills, and my father not paying his part because he cant afford to....
http://tinyurl.com/3xeapa shows just how long this fight has been going on. What it doesn't show is all the emotional turmoil that has occurred along the way, such as the call from my grandmother at 1am telling me how I am killing my mother (a good listen if you haven't heard it yet).
Today I get a call from my father just after he got out of court. After 7 long years of constant struggle in court, we have finally won. There will be no more court dates. No more lawyers. She has to pay everything she owes up to this point. Half of everything, all the school expenses, all the medical expenses. She has to pay for half of everything from this point forward. Half the tuition, half of books, half of medical expenses, half the rent, and a stipend for food. Things may not be easy all of a sudden, but at least the fight is over. Now the countdown to when we actually see the money begins, at least on a happy note :)
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discontent
pensive
lonely
accomplished